FedProv Gossip: Day Two

2024-02-22 11:00 AM

Fresh Reporting: Tia Figueiredo

During the second day of FedProv, more drama ensued. The main subject being us. We, the Wild West Press, was kicked out of almost all ministry meetings. This silencing of the West Press happened due to Alberta’s uncomfort with us based on a wrongly phrased question posed to Alberta at the press conference yesterday. After waiting outside of ministry meetings for over an hour, we were finally allowed inside when a formal apology was made by the chief editors of the Western Press to the premier of Alberta. All is good between the two parties now!!

FedProv Gossip: Day One

2024-02-21 8:00 PM

Fresh Reporting: Tia Figueiredo

The first day of FedProv 2024 has come to a close, but not without its fair share of drama and gossip.

First Ministers Meeting

Certain provinces called out the Prime Minister, as some were saying that the Deputy Prime Minister was doing most of the talking, more than the actual Prime Minister…

Justice Meeting

The main topic covered within the Justice meeting was the legalization of sex work. With Alberta and Ontario having different opinions on the legalization of sex work, it caused quite a dispute between the two groups. Alberta had even called out Ontario for speaking over them while they were talking, causing the federal government to step in and recommend both groups resolve the issue privately over emails. Alberta also expressed concerns as they felt the meeting had been slanderous to them. British Columbia brought up concerns to the federal government, as they expressed their hands were up to ask questions, which were continuously ignored by the federal government, causing it to be a challenge for them to participate in any discussions.

Environment Meeting:

Within the environment meeting, many groups felt as though the federal government did not appropriately hear their voices. Alberta’s Minister of Environment stated that the federal government “wildly misunderstood what [we] proposed,” proving how they felt as if their ideas were not conveyed or understood adequately enough by the Federal Government. New Brunswick, the Assembly of First Nations, and various other groups felt similarly. On the other hand, Quebec seemed to be running the show, having long periods of time to talk and consistently having opinions on each topic brought up.

Finance Meeting:

Many ministers in the financial meeting felt as though the federal representatives were vastly underprepared and uninformed about the budget that was allocated by the Prime Minister. Ministers were also frustrated with the federal government's refusal to discuss the budget further, leading to a quiet first meeting. The federal government continued to shut down questions about the budget, leading to them being called out by Newfoundland and Labrador's minister of finance, “This is a democracy right… [yes]... then why are you shutting down questions so fast?” Also, the federal representatives were said to be making disrespectful comments directed towards the ministers, such as: “Thank you for educating me on something I already know.”

Housing Meeting

The housing meeting seemed way too civil for any gossip, with everyone being in mutual agreement. Boring.

Overall Gossip

There was also a fair amount of drama within the press conference, with certain topics being brought up for discussion. The Albertan Instagram account caused a great deal of drama at the press conference, with concerns about their offensive posts causing an uproar among the crowd. When representatives from Indigenous affairs were asked about the posts by Alberta, they expressed that they were concerned and shocked to see the province post the offensive memes. Furthermore, a common issue throughout the day was that many smaller provinces seemed to be under-represented.
That's all of the gossip for today! Stay tuned for tomorrow's exciting gossip!

Food Review: FEDPROV 2024

2024-02-21 2:00 PM

Review: Jason Cheng

I. Introduction

Now, after a long morning of various thrilling adventures in bureaucracy, lunch has come.

After a very successful lunch last year for FedProv 2023, expectations were high coming into this year's lunch, as could be seen in the line of ravenous policymakers, press, and other miscellaneous peoples.

"I mean, last year's was great, there was buns. Actual buns." - A person we interviewed in line, who wished to remain anonymous in our review.

"I heard there's pasta, like mac. Honestly, if I can be honest, I'm not a big fan of mac, but who knows, uh, maybe it'll be pretty good." - A teen we interviewed on his way to the senate building, whom we didn't manage to catch the name of before he sprinted off to mac-and-cheese-land (ergo, the Senate Building), but we can definitely say had a very dapper tie. If you were wearing a very nice red-and-white striped tie and got interviewed by a small crowd of shady-looking short teenagers on the street before dashing off, presumably to ensure you didn't get mugged, contact us please.

"Huh? I'm sorry, what did you say? I had headphones in, could you repeat that?" - Random Laurier student with Beats on leaning next to a toilet stall door looking at his phone in the BA First Floor men's washrooms.

Now, as we can tell from these quotes, everyone was terribly excited for lunch- or as we say it in French- terriblement excité pour le déjeuner. Now, with bated breath, those in line got ready to experience what the wonderful catering staff of Laurier had cooked up for us- or as we say it in English- the lunch in question. Now, without further ado, let's get straight to the reviews!

II. The Drinks

Now, where do I begin with the drinks? What a selection- From old, familiar, nostalgic classics like Coca-Cola to incredibly exotic cocktails prepared for us like apple juice, there was something for everyone. I know many chose the orange juice, some the cranberry, some of my own friends even went for the sodas! I heard the Sprite in particular was impeccable. All of this, of course, was kept impeccably chilled- not too cold, not too hot. While I sometimes enjoy popping the ol' Diet Coke on the burner for a quick char on both sides before enjoying every now and then, the chilling was perfect for the cloying, thick heat present in the conference halls.

FINAL VERDICT: 7/10 (not a 10/10 because they didn't have Fanta)

III. The Salad

Off to a great start! Now, I must say, the menu this time is a bit lacking, but I must clearly assume from how great the drinks were that they were simply refining and simplifying the menu- or as we say it in French, they were simply chóp chóp chóp-ping la menu. En tout cas, it was quite a large bowl, big and glass and patterned, the type of bowl a family would faithfully use for generations, the type of bowl you would get at an estate sale for $3.99 and never use. It was quite a nice spread of vegetables- I counted cucumbers, shredded carrots, and at least 97 different species of leafy green vegetables. ^Editor's note: Jason has been made aware that even though different leaves of lettuce may "look really different, like c'mon that one is literally white!", that does not mean each is its own species.

The sauce was banging, though. As a pasty white guy ^Editor's note: Jason is eastern Chinese., you know I love my ranch and my Caesar. However, the stuff they had really hit the spot. "Zesty Italian dressing", it was called. I don't know which exotic locale they got that stuff from, but it was definitely really zesty and Italian. I personally was taken really aback, so I warned everyone that walked away with a plate of salad that it was definitely "zesty" and "Italian". Honestly, I need to get some of this stuff for home. I bet it would taste really good on coleslaw. ^Editor's note: I'm not sure why he's saying this. He's never had coleslaw.

FINAL VERDICT: 9 7/10. I'm still bitter about the lettuce thing.

IV. The Macaroni

Ah, the famed macaroni and cheese. One of my old and dear favorites, as I'm a white guy who grew up eating this every evening for din-din, ^Editor's note: if you couldn't tell, he's lying. I know a good macaroni and cheese when I taste it. Nice and slightly chewy- or as we say it in French, al dente, nice and gooey sharp yellow and white cheese with just a hint of browning, ahh.

Now, I'm sorry, I don't know if they got the guy who only sees things in shades of white on kitchen duty, but I didn't see much browning. What the hell, I thought. It's fine, though, I ruminated. All that matters is the taste, I cogitated. So, I got served a nice paper cup of steaming macaroni and cheese, and I sat down and stuck into it with my wooden fork. It had the stretchiness of good cheese, pasty white just like my face, the macaroni perfectly formed just like mom used to pre-make.

It tasted overwhelmingly like food. I thought 'yup, that's food', as I ate. It was sticky, chewy, yet somehow not that sticky nor chewy at the same time. It went down like a piano thrown out of the windows of a sinking cruise liner- that is to say, not that fast, yet also not that slow. Most disappointingly of all, it had less salt than I would have liked. All in all, however, perfectly serviceable, some food completely able to be called food.

FINAL VERDICT: 6/10 (+1 point for sustainability)

V. The Pasta (Vegan, GF)

Didn't have it. It was probably fine. It had tomatoes.

FINAL VERDICT: 8/10

VI. Conclusion

Well, that's all from your favorite food columnist for now, the only one reviewing the food of FedProv 2024. As we look forward to another exciting few hours of conferences and meetings, you can confidently look forward, you knowing that I know that you know that you know more about the food that you eat right here at FedProv. Now, as we would say in Spanish, au revoir!